Among friends, family and co-workers, there are those whose attitudes can be demeaning and toxic. It is difficult relating to some of these people and thus it becomes a challenge. So how do we get out from the hole and be masters of our own fates?
The best way is to learn from successful people how they have approached the same role of winning the war against toxic individuals.
1. They set limits
Toxic people try to consume you and make you swim deep in their problems. They don’t want to see solutions so they can waste your time by pressuring you to join their pity party.
Successful people understand that there is a fine line between offering to listen to the problems and getting themselves involved too deep in the negative emotional twists of such complainers. That is why they set limits and distance themselves when necessary.
2. They don’t expect or request change
By expecting change, you lower your energy and create a resistance in people. Successful people do not want to be faced with a tone of disapproval, blame or rejection by a toxic person. So they simply suggest feedback and let them decide what they will do with it. They don’t demand actions or instant change.
3. They don’t get embroiled in fights
Successful people know how important it is to store energy. And when it comes to battling with a toxic person, they do well to manage their emotions.
By managing their emotions they can live to fight another day and avoid being brutally beaten. They choose their battles wisely and always pick the right time to be engaged in a fight.
4. They don’t allow anyone to restrict their happiness
Successful people do not allow other people’s opinions to determine their joy. They are masters of their own happiness.
And so, anything that is successfully accomplished and needs to be celebrated cannot be affected by what toxic people are thinking or doing.
5. They don’t forget
By not forgetting what a wrongdoer has done to them, successful people can move on and focus on protecting themselves from future harm. It is not as if forgiveness doesn’t play a part to their success, but they simply do not want to be involved in the mistakes of others.
6. They forge a support system
Successful people understand that battling toxic people alone can be exhausting. To avoid such nerve racking mental exercise, they surround themselves with people who are supportive and willing to help them during difficult situations.
7. They get some rest
They understand the need to stay positive, creative and proactive. And the way they can do this is by getting some sleep. With a well deserved rest, successful people can manage their stress levels and be recharged enough to deal effectively with toxic people.
8. They focus on solutions rather than problems
The best way to manage your emotional state is to fixate on the solutions of the problems you are facing. Successful people focus on personal development and improve their circumstances, thus their attitude produces positive emotions and reduces stress.
Instead of thinking or focusing on how crazy toxic people can be, they think of how they can handle the situation toxic individuals have presented.
9. They set barriers
You can’t deal with everyone in the same way. That is why successful people establish boundaries to rise above the negative people around them. By doing this, they can predict the actions of toxic people. This also equips them with knowing when to put up barriers with negative people and when not to.
10. They are self aware
By being self aware you are able to determine how far anyone can go before he or she pushes your buttons. Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. That is why successful people can manage situations, even when they are confronted by a derailed person. They smile, nod and move on.
11. They rise above negativity
Everyone will agree that toxic people are irrational and crazy. They cannot be reasoned with, so instead of trying to get muddled up in the mix, they focus on not responding to the frenzy and chaos, and respond only to the facts.
12. They never play the victim
While toxic people can play the field to their advantage, you are left to decide whether play the victim or not. Successful people do not allow themselves to be victimized by their emotional state, and instead focus on owning up from within to whatever negativity that surrounds them.
13. They never judge
Successful people are not judgmental. They understand that this can become addictive if they make it a habit. That is why successful people focus on other elements, such as compassion, understanding, respect and forgiveness.
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by Casey Imafidon